what's a girl to do?

Your kids want a snack and you've wasted all day on your
computer surfing blogs?

Solution? Rip off some funny ideas from much more creative individuals.

You can't afford a food mill, but you want to start trying out some
healthier recipes with ground food storage products?

Bust this beauty out of the back of your dusty unused appliance cupboard!

Your kid starts pulling a plastic bag over his head in a manner that
clearly violates the "this is not a toy" warning?

Grab your camera, snap like crazy and then run around your house like
a madwoman hiding all the plastic bags so that this cute little face will always be safe.

Please don't judge me by the pictures I take.

PS, okay, I had to come back and add that I showed the plastic bag pictures in reverse order. I did not sit there and take pictures encouraging my child to pull a plastic bag over his head. I already had my camera out and was taking pictures while hollering "take that off your head!". As further evidence of my competent mothering, my oldest is watching me type over my shoulder and just said, "oh, that's when Taylor put a dangerous bag on his head. that wasn't good." Amen.

stuffed... or is it squashed?

Did you know that the Canadian Food Guide recommends 7-8 servings of fruit and vegetables a day for an adult woman? Yes, you did? Well then, did you know I had to force down a second dinner of veggies after I put my kids to bed just to meet that requirement? Seriously, between 8 glasses of water a day, 7-8 servings of fruits and veggies and trying not to eat for a couple hours before bed - when am I supposed to have time or appetite for all the other food groups?!?

superman ain't got nothin' on me

My sister once told me that when occasion demands she takes her phone calls sitting on the floor of her son's closet, with the door closed and with his bedroom door closed. This makes me giggle riotously because I can picture her kids wandering the house getting more and more concerned, "Mom, where are you? Mom? Mo-om? Mom! Mother?!?" Is it cruel that I fantasize about doing things like this to my kids? - well, my ship is in folks!

The other day I was on the phone with my mom and cleaning out my under-the-stairs closet. I was also holding a conversation with my almost-4-year-old that was going a little something like this...

Josh: "Is it dark in there?"
Me: "yup"
J: "Is it dark in there?"
M: "Yes honey"
J: "Is it dark in there?"
Me, looking directly into his eyes: "Yes, it is dark in here. But why don't you ask me one more time."
Josh, looking a little confused: "Is it..."
Me: "Why, yes, it is! Now, go away."

I promptly sit down on a pile of Christmas boxes and extend a heartfelt apology to my mother, because recent anecdotal evidence suggests that Josh is every grandmother's dream grandchild - the reincarnation of all his parents' most 'endearing' traits. (If you're wondering, Josh gets his incessant chattering from me and his skill for pestering from his father - yes, my daily fear IS that my brain will start slowly trickling out my ear - why do you ask?) And now we get to the good part....

This is my downstairs (under the stair) closet. Because of the landing, you walk in, duck your head make a u-turn and crawl a little further. This is where I keep all things seasonal - usually Christmas boxes in the most inaccessable part, camping and outdoors-y stuff at the "U" and coats and shoes at the front. At this time of year I have to go in and "front" all the winter clothes/boots/mittens/etc. and I figure, while I'm in there, swap the camping and christmas positions for easy access in another month. This is where I may have hit apon the answer to all my prayers.

The Fortress of Solitude

I figure between my cordless phone, laptop, plug-in cooler and battery operated camping lantern I can hide out in here until my kids go to college.